When first learning abou the "bell curve" in school you think about grades. You look around the classroom, trying to rank people's braininess and see where you'll fall in this curve and hope it's not toward the low end so you stay out of trouble with your parents for getting bad grades... as I've gotten older I've realized that this bell curve can be applied in many different areas including the child parent relationship.
Every relationship is unique particularly between parents and children - even in the same household the relationship between children and parents is different. There is an overall similar trajectory, child needs diapers and lots of attention, gains independence, moves out, parents regain their independence and then they begin to need diapers and lots of attention... in the middle somewhere there's an evening out for a little where there is more of an equality and both parent and child are teacher and student and respected for both these roles. There is a challenging shift when the child's role transforms into that of parenting - of teacher and care taker.
After about 3 years of muscle deterioration my dad has received a diagnosis of amyloidosis. After various doctor visits in multiple states he's made the decision to have a stem cell transplant. My sister and I have traveled out to California to be with our parents during this time and to help care for both our parents during this time. We are feeling out this curve, this shift in relationships, resistance and release as we begin this journey with our dad.
I anticipate many lessons from time spent "at home" and this new navigation in our family dynamics and hope to also take time to do more self exploration and personal growth as a result of this experience.
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